SHUT DOWN SURVIVAL
You are not alone in this.
Your system shuts down to protect you.
This is a survival response.
This is how your body keeps you safe.
Shut down/collapse and dissociation are part of the way our body reacts to stress and trauma. This is a term called immobilization. When we can't move in to action our body will play dead in an attempt to swerve pain. In this way your body is doing what it thinks is a massive favour.
Our body can move in and out of this shut down state of disconnection and into the mobilisation state of fight/flight. This can be incredibly traumatic and scary.
When we experience trauma or overwhelming stress our body is on the scene instantly. Its not going to ask you what you would like to do- its going to advocate for you and do whats best for you based on your history and past experience.
When my mum died the first physical thing that happened to me was my shoulders were rock solid and I couldn't lift my head up straight.
I started smoking because I couldn't process the experience at a quick enough rate that I desperately needed.
I was not present. That was deep shock.
But shut down isn't just shock- it can continue to be a lived experience over long periods of time... For example; daydreaming, not listening, feeling unable to complete simple tasks, not being able to make eye contact for long periods of time, seeking refuge in the bath, bed, mediatating or on social media. Shut down is the opposite of presence. To me presence is the participation in real time, current emotions, being in the body and that can be traumatising/retraumatising for individuals.
This that help me:
• TRE
• Finger pattern movement
• Pushing against a wall, pushing feet onto floor or hands together
• Orientating around the room. Looking slowly, engaging visual curiosity~ building safety in the space you are in
•••
For those of you who might ponder if you may have been dissasociated since birth- this could very well be true- I think I was. For those of you who are considering whether disconnection feeds the ability to connect to higher planes, psychic ability and meditation- I think there is a massive link here....
